Embrace The Fact You’re Going To Give Up. Here’s Why.

News flash: Technology has made us (more) impatient.

Who hasn’t stood in front of their microwave, waited for an Uber or stood in line for something and shouted, ‘hurry up’. We have become spoiled for choice and we are still not happy.

It seems the faster our access to anything, the faster we seem to believe we should have it. It’s made us lazy and impatient. We’ve become a society of simply giving up because we don’t get it fast enough.

Insta-Life

We have high-speed internet access all the time. We have access to all the world and its secrets in a flash. Yet, we still complain. Why?

You sent a text but the little ball is spinning and suddenly the phone is crap and technology is crap and your life is ruined.

Why do we think that we are owed something?

People seem to want things when they want them without putting in any effort on their end. In a world where everything is continually coming at us faster, perhaps we are just tired of trying to keep up.

The Fear

We likely all know someone who seemingly had it all going on and then just walked away. Maybe a promising music career or a university degree. So the question remains, “why do people bail when it appears they are on the brink of success?”

Well, the fear of success or is it the fear of failure?

Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown, and for many people, it’s easier to simply not ever know the true outcome than face the truth.

The fear of success is real. Many people expect to fail and believe that those in their social and family circle expect it, too. Sadly, it’s easier (and far too common) to fail and say, ‘oh, well. I tried’ than to follow through with something. 

The Success

To finally succeed at something albeit personal or professional should be a celebration. So why do people bail at the last minute? Not only is it often easier, but it’s what we have come to expect of ourselves. True, some people don’t like to celebrate things but that doesn’t mean it should go unnoticed.

The flip to celebration means that your new-found success comes with it new expectations on us. You’ve accomplished something – now what are you going to do? It’s as if the window to acknowledge yourself closes quickly. No matter how you slice it, the fear of what’s next can be too much for people.

There is risk involved when we choose to complete something and the fear of winning or losing can overwhelm some people. The choice for them is to stop just short of the finish line.

Don’t Judge Me

What other people think of us or how they see us has a massive influence on many people. The fear of letting them down can be too much and it may be easier to have people see us fail early on in the venture than later when there is more at stake.

Also, if we are used to having people close to us tell us we are not good enough or we lack the ability, we start to believe it. In a way, we allow them to be proven right when we pull out of our journey, thereby giving them our power. Don’t do this. It undermines your ability while empowering their insecurity of you doing something that they aren’t confident in themselves to take on.

We’re Just Lazy

Fun fact: each generation has had it easier than their parents.

Parents all realize this and want their children to have things they never did. I know I do. When we are given too much too easily, we lose the drive and desire to work for it. Once we hit the real world, we fail quickly because no one is there to just give us want we want.

We also may give up on something because it seems too difficult to even start. Take getting your master’s degree for example – which could arrive DOA due to the overwhelming amount of work and costs involved. It’s just easier to follow a different, easier path.

Far too often, people give up on their own dreams and follow those that someone else wants them to do. Of course, it’s not what you want and there’s a high probability you will likely pull the plug.

I Need Acknowledgement

Another reason we give up and stop is that there are not enough rewards. Real-life doesn’t have a like button, so if you had a particularly hard day and are not receiving enough pats on the back, it may seem to you like it’s just not worth the effort.

Real-life is hard. It’s thankless and dirty and unfair at times. It’s what makes us who we are. Getting through the hard bits makes the good times all that much better. Work hard and the rewards will follow.

person sitting in disbelief, concerned about life and the decisions they made. #choice #commitment #success #coachingtips #photography

IN CLOSING: Being afraid is a good thing, embrace it. Pushing through your fears is what makes you a better person. Overcoming one barrier only prepares you for the next. Giving up is the easiest way, but who wants easy? I don’t, do you?

The Floor Is Yours: How do you push past your fears?

{Add Your Comments Below}

🔴  Let’s Connect: www.JoshHMiller.com | Follow Joshua Miller For More

Joshua Miller is a Master Certified Executive Coach, creative leader and bestselling author. His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator, supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies.

Please ‘Follow’ if you would like to hear more from me in the future.

Death To The Social Media #Influencer

The term influencer used to be connected to large corporations, big firms or a particular product. Now, it’s attached to individuals themselves. Now it’s not just a term to refer to someone, but a highly sought after occupation. Or is it?

Why are people so concerned about what someone else thinks?

Why can’t people just make up their own minds?

How did this all become so lucrative and why does everyone want to become an influencer?

On-screen Generation

You can’t go anywhere anymore without seeing people glued to their screens. In restaurants, on public transportation, at their desks at work. Well, it would only be a matter of time before marketers took advantage of that.

It stands to reason that a generation of people who text each other while in the same room would also start taking advantage of that captive audience, as well. It might start with a goofy video of someone being pranked or a cat meme, but soon it takes off into influencing their followers.

Sadly, people don’t talk to each other anymore.

They would rather communicate with their screens and just stay home. Social media has made an entire generation very anti-social.

Please Like Me

Nowadays, we have young Beliebers in their room posting jam sessions suddenly getting thousands of followers. Those followers attract product makers and all of a sudden they wield the power to sell stuff…lots of it, without ever leaving their room.

Some influencers will post a picture on their Instagram account and if it doesn’t get 20,000 likes within half an hour, they take it down. Many of them pay for likes, followers and comments. We’ve become a world of vanity metrics and verification badges. People place their entire self-worth on how many people like a picture of their lunch

Follow Your Calling Not The Crowd

People can’t make up their own minds. Often, they start following someone because their friends do. Or one of their favorite celebrities told them to and now you hang on their every word and recommendation.

Some people depend so deeply on what a few people have to say about a particular brand or product, they can’t live without it.

It’s one thing to buy something because your favorite singer is promoting it, they are paid to do so. It’s another when a total stranger who managed to garner a lot of followers is telling you what to eat or wear.

It’s gotten to the point where the term influencer is now broken down into categories depending on how many followers and how much money they make.

You Do You

Do you want to look and sound and smell like everyone else? Of course not. That’s not how you express your individuality.

Go against the trend and the popular choice.

It’s actually very brave to step away from the trends and express yourself the way you choose. Wear what is comfortable and what makes you happy. Eat what you want, not what a pseudo-celebrity thinks you should.

Break Free

Maybe, just maybe it’s far cooler to not follow the lemmings off the cliff. Maybe, you can be far more interesting by expressing yourself in a manner that makes you happiest.

Take a moment and look up from your screen. What do you see?

Find the people who are also looking around, doing their own thing, not giving two emoji poops what anyone else is doing. Them. They are the ones who have broken free and reclaimed their power from online to off.

While influencers on social media may be raking in money right now, what happens next week?

Will they still be relevant?

Will they have dropped down below 100,000 followers and fallen right off social media altogether? What then?

How will you know what kind of toast to eat or shirt to buy?

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IN CLOSING: Rather than be influenced by a bunch of people you don’t know and will likely never meet, why not just do what you want. Buck the trend, break free from the sheep following the next avocado toast craze and find your own path.

Maybe you will find out you never really liked avocado toast, skinny fit jeans and Boba tea after all. It’s so much more satisfying to discover yourself than allowing someone else to define you. In the end, the most important like you will ever receive is from yourself.

The Floor Is Yours: When is it OK to call yourself an “Influencer”?

{Add Your Comments Below}

🔴  Let’s Connect: www.JoshHMiller.com | Follow Joshua Miller For More

Joshua Miller is a Master Certified Executive Coach, creative leader and bestselling author. His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator, supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies.

Please ‘Follow’ if you would like to hear more from me in the future.

Stop Asking Leaders To Be Authentic. Here’s Why.

In an age of ‘alternative facts’, ‘fake news’ and leaders who blatantly lie without blinking, we can’t be blamed for our search and desire for authenticity.

It’s exhausting. But what are we looking for? The Truth?

Maybe, we can’t handle the truth.

Asking for authenticity from our leaders, be it our employees, teachers, mentors, bosses, or world leaders might seem like a logical move but is that what we really want?

Let’s take a closer look at what ‘being authentic’ means and why we may not want it after all.

Social Media vs. Authenticity

Speaking of real and authentic, how about a trip through someone’s social media. It’s all sunshine and rainbows, to hear them tell it, but it’s typically a facade or arranged to make others, and moreover, them, believe it. Everyone is guilty of doing it, but is it okay?

If you are looking at a picture of someone’s new car and feeling a little jealous, don’t. If you are wondering how they can manage to pay for it, so are they.

If we were all to be authentic on social media, and let’s face it, some people are, it could become a depressing place to be. There is the other extreme, as well, where people feel the need to blow up and exaggerate every little snag and flaw, but we don’t want to see that, either. It makes us feel guilty.

When people are honest on their social media, “I’m scared, I’m hungry, I’m broke’, people look away. It’s a TMI, too much information situation we are not ready to embrace. If we read that and react, then we also feel a responsibility to them to lend an ear or a hand or money (cue the ‘donate’ button).

Where Does That Leave Us?

Authenticity comes to us in many forms, and depending on who we are and what we want, it depends on how much of it we really want. We live in a world of knock-offs, reproductions, and life-likes.

So what? We may ask. We should ask.

When we ask our peers or leaders to be authentic, what does that really mean? We don’t see people as authentic on their terms, but rather, ours. There is a famous quote by author Anais Nin that says, ‘We don’t see things as are, we see them as we are’.

It’s our own version of authenticity we crave to see.

If our leaders or society performs in a way that we don’t agree with, we are all too quick to deem them false. But we are judging them based on our core values, not theirs.

Please Be Authentic.

No, The Other Authentic

We may ask our leaders to be authentic but what we are really asking is for them to be authentic to the organization or companies’ values. True to what we deem to be real, not necessarily what their own core values are.

Herein lies the challenge.

Asking for leaders to be authentic and then condemning them for stepping outside the lines is a slippery slope. What companies are asking is for them to assimilate with the company values, not necessarily their personal ones.

Go Ahead, Ask

People always blur the truth on their resumes, in interviews, and on the job all the time.

Perhaps for potential employers and employees, there needs to be more rigor around the interview questions each has – to truly gauge if, how and when someone is a true culture fit. After all, everyone wants this relationship to work out right? It’s not easy for either side and you both want to get it right.

Maybe the answer is in the question. Don’t be afraid to ask the questions you really want the answers for. Skip the standard down-pat questions and opt for situational and behavioral interview questions. Cut to the chase and find out if:

  • Will they enjoy working with you?
  • Are you genuinely excited about the opportunity?
  • Do you have the core capabilities to do the job?

Feel Like An Imposter?

Curious if you’re suffering from a lack of authenticity? Here are several questions to get you thinking:

  • Do you lie to yourself about what really matters to you?
  • Do you compare yourself to others and come up lacking?
  • Do you run on empty in order to impress others?
  • Do you pretend to have a picture-perfect life?
  • Do you hold back when you are not sure of the next steps?
  • Do you need brand name clothes and shiny cars to prove your worth?
  • Do you spend your time proving to family or your culture you are worthy?
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IN CLOSING: Asking for authenticity from your newly acquired Pablo Picasso is wise. Asking it from our leaders requires patience and a clear understanding from the beginning to ensure you get the masterpiece you are hoping for.

We all have a version of ourselves we have to put on. One at home, one at work, one in social situations, etc. The key is to understanding who you are when you are by yourself and have no one to answer to.

The Floor Is Yours: Is it asking too much for others to be authentic?

Creating An Emotionally Safe Workplace: What Managers Can Learn From Effective Parenting

An effective leader must possess various qualities and attributes in order to successfully motivate employees and create a safe, productive work environment.

Many managers often overlook the importance of creating a workplace

that is conducive to their employee’s emotional needs.

If you want to ensure that your employees are productive and satisfied with their position, it is vital that you work diligently to foster open communication and conflict resolution.

You should never underestimate the importance of developing an effective company culture and work environment. Companies that don’t support their employees and who allow morals and ethics to fall by the wayside will often see a decline in employee productivity rates. This can lead to lower profit margins as well as a poor public reputation.

Executive Coach standing next to inspiration and motivational quote #quote #executivecoaching #personaldevelopment #culture #workplace #hr #people

Below are several helpful tips you may want to take into consideration in order to build an emotionally safe workplace as well as what anyone in a leadership role can learn from parents about behavioral management:

DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS

Conflict is a part of every workplace, and while it is important to take steps to prevent it from occurring, it can often be inevitable. This is why it is important to develop effective conflict resolution skills as a manager. It will allow you to deescalate situations before they progress into something more serious and will help to create a safe and positive work environment in which your employees are able to thrive and reach their full potential.

This is a skill that many parents must-have, especially if they have more than one child. Many parents find that it is beneficial to establish healthy boundaries and to teach beneficial coping mechanisms, both of which can also be helpful in any work environment.

  • You might want to consider properly training employees so that they are able to interact with one another in a positive and productive manner.
  • You may also want to set clearly defined rules so that employees fully understand what type of behavior is expected from them while they are on the job.
  • Additionally, when conflict does arise, it can be helpful to teach your employees how to effectively deal with their emotions. You might want to suggest that they take a break to calm down or that they open up about their feelings in order to work through an issue.

LEADING BY EXAMPLE

Another helpful skill that managers can adopt from parents is the ability to successfully lead by example. Many parents realize that their children develop similar traits and behaviors that they themselves exhibit. This can often be a good thing, but it can also mean that the people around you may pick up on your negative habits as well. Therefore, it can be beneficial to be a good role model at work. This will show your employees how they should act in order to be taken seriously in the workplace.

  • Your employees will often look to you for guidance, and taking responsibility for your actions, respecting others, and maintaining a high standard of morals and ethics will help to promote these qualities in your employees.
  • The way that you present yourself will reflect on your company and will set a precedent for the entirety of the workplace. If your employees see that the company values loyalty, inclusiveness, and integrity, they will know that, when they come to work, they need to adhere to these standards.

IMPLEMENTING CONSEQUENCE FOR NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS

Taking disciplinary action against employees is never easy. However, this is another vital skill that managers can take away from parenting. It is important that you set rules and expectations for your employees. These should be clearly defined and made known to all employees so that they know the potential consequences of negative behaviors. Letting things slide that damage workplace morale and that may make other employees feel unsafe at work, should be avoided. For example, if an employee begins harassing others within the workplace, this should be addressed.

  • If you ignore it, this will give other employees the impression that the company does not take these issues seriously and that they are free to do the same.
  • Therefore, you need your employees to understand there are consequences, which will help to prevent creating a workplace that is out of control and in which negative behaviors thrive.

IN CLOSING: There are many similarities between effective parenting and management skills if you pay close attention. Both roles require strong leadership, disciplinary action, conflict resolution, and setting a good example. If you are able to handle workplace conflict in a professional and productive manner, this will help to create a safe environment that makes your employees feel good about coming to work each day. When you are able to lead by example and become a manager that your employees respect, this will show them how to properly present themselves in a professional setting.

The Floor Is Yours: How else can managers create healthier work environments?

{Add Your Comments Below}

🔴  Let’s Connect: www.JoshHMiller.com | Follow Joshua Miller For More

Joshua Miller is a Master Certified Executive Coach, creative leader and bestselling author. His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator, supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies.

Please ‘Follow’ if you would like to hear more from me in the future.

5 Reasons You Should Fire Yourself From Your Client

You have probably been there before when a client seems to think they are the only client in the world.

Where they expect you to give them all your attention, to be constantly on call, and will complain when you deliver anything they believe is less than 100 percent. Over time, you may find yourself dreading to pick up the phone when they call. You may feel overworked, underpaid, and frustrated.

All of this is enough to rip your hair out. And there are very few clients that are worth losing hair over.

But the great news is, you do not have to put up with them.

“You are in charge of whom you choose to take on as clients and when you say no more.”

There are many reasons why you should consider firing yourself from your client, here are five common ones to watch out for:

THEY MAKE UNETHICAL REQUESTS

  • This should be a huge red flag for you if you’re working with a client and they start to ask you to do something unethical or outright illegal. Not only do you not want to get tied up with this kind of work, but you also should see this as a red flag about the person. Sacrificing your integrity to make money is not something that will be sustainable long-term. Instead, get rid of this bad apple as fast as you can and make room for a client who values good business practices.

THEY’RE LATE ON PAYMENTS

  • You talked it over. You decided on a rate. They made it seem like everything was peachy and they may have even seemed reliable and trustworthy. But then it happens, a late payment. You think it’s okay, it happens. You accept the excuse and promises it won’t happen again. But it does. Again and again and again. Maybe the excuses continue or maybe they just give up. They aren’t giving 100 percent, but they’re still expecting you to. Somehow they believe they’re money is more valuable than other peoples and worth waiting for.
  • One thing is for sure, they have no business being your client anymore. Prioritize your self-respect and basic needs before holding onto a relationship that degrades your sense of value. Find some potential leads to replace them if needed and let them know that if they’re unable to make payments on time then you can’t work with them any longer.

THEY CHALLENGE YOUR EXPERTISE

  • It’s hard to get something done when a beginner keeps interjecting their half-formed opinions. You may then have to take the time to show them over and over why it won’t work that way. This can quickly become exhausting. A project timeline will start to drag on as huge chunks of time are eaten up by fighting with the client and trying to assure them that you know what you’re talking about.
  • Save yourself now from the fatigue and just get rid of any client that is making your life harder. You want to work with people who uplift you or at least don’t make you worn out and exhausted in an hour’s conversation. Set a boundary by asking them to step back and trust you with the project. If they’re unable to respect the request, replace them with a client who will.

THEY’RE INSULTING

  • Some interactions may leave you speechless. You think to yourself, “Are they serious?” You may wonder what just happened, and find yourself feeling from the whiplash of sudden changes in tone, attitude, and aggressiveness. Seemingly sweet clients lash out or make disparaging remarks that leave you feeling stunned and wondering whether you are good enough for the job.
  • If they’re insulting you and your work regularly, it’s a huge sign it’s time to make a plan of escape before your self-esteem is affected. If they’re a big client, downscale the time spent on their projects and find work to replace theirs.

THEY PULL YOU FROM YOUR PATH

  • An important thing to keep in mind when deciding on a client is whether they are helping you get closer to those goals. This may be harder because they could be good clients or decent individuals. But at some point, you’re going to want to be selective enough that you’re only taking on the clients that can also help you get further in your life plan. Look for clients who will give you the projects, experience, and networking needed to move towards your dream and fill your schedule with reaching out to them.
Executive Coach sitting with Motivational and inspiration quote #quote #coaching #selfworth #clients #business #success #tips #inspiration #value

IN CLOSING: It’s critical to be willing to leave any bad relationship, including working relationships. Doing so can improve the quality of your life and help you move towards more fulfilling and satisfying work and in the end, you are worth it.

The Floor Is Yours: What other red flags should you watch out for?

5 Things To Consider Before Posting On Linkedin

Six years ago, when I logged onto Linkedin, I had one clear mission and one larger question, which was: how can I inspire 1,000,000 people on this platform.

What happened next was definitely not expected but openly embraced.

I posted a quote.

Nothing quite groundbreaking but something from my heart vs. my head.

A few hours later, I came back to my post to find over a hundred likes and a dozen or so comments. Was it a fluke, or did I actually strike a chord with someone on the other end?

The only way to know for sure would be a rinse and repeat the following day. Wouldn’t you know it, the same thing happened again. As they say, twice is a coincidence but three times is a pattern so I wrote something the following day and posted it online.

Much to my surprise, the same people were liking, commenting and sending me personal notes of inspiration and thanks. I knew in that moment I had found my vehicle.

Time to drive.

As of today, I have hit roughly 937,300 likes (roughly speaking) based solely on my posts which are often accompanied by quotes I created.

For more help with making LinkedIn successful:


To say I am delighted would be a massive understatement. I am also, humbled, honored, inspired, excited and the list goes on.

Here are my 5 questions for anyone considering whether or not to post something on Linkedin.

  1. What are you trying to achieve as an outcome?
  2. Is Linkedin the correct platform for your message?
  3. What do you have at stake by posting?
  4. Is what you wish to post aligned with your brand and who you are?
  5. Can you stand by what you post?

My personal journey has been filled with numerous highs, as well as some lows. The highs come in the form of personal messages from people expressing how I have helped their day, life or moment of perspective while supporting them helping them create a more fulfilled life.

The lows have come in the form of haters, people looking to discredit my work, individuals claiming I plagiarized or am acting against the will of religion.

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It only feels right that I leave you with some quotes to inspire you to take action:
  • You will never know what you are capable of doing unless you begin.
  • A toe in the water is not the same as swimming.
  • Every expert started as a beginner.

The floor is yours: What message would you like to leave for the world?

Have an extra 2 minutes to discover more about yourself? Take the quiz to find out if you’re happy or comfortable.

[interact id=”5b97c86710e74b0014bd0c88″ type=”quiz”]

With Leadership,
Joshua
www.JoshHMiller.com

Joshua Miller

Joshua Miller is a creative leader and impactful executive coach.

His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator. He’s supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies.

Joshua studied at Syracuse University, NYU and Stanford. He combines that background with his deep knowledge of organizational behavior, performance and change management. He focuses on the analysis, design, development, delivery, and evaluation of scalable and global talent development solutions programs.

Joshua is a Master Certified Coach. He trained with the International Coaching Federation and CTI (The Coaches Training Institute).

Time Lost Cannot Be Regained. Here's Why You Should Care.

Time Lost Cannot Be Regained. Here’s Why You Should Care.

The other day, my youngest whose almost three, strolled up next to me as I was working and said, “Dada, look at what I made!” with a cute and excited voice. I immediately replied, “one second, I am just sending out an email (as if he knew, or cared what that was).”

No sooner did I reply, when my son started to say again, “look…look Dada…you aren’t looking”.

“One second I said, I promise” as I struggled to get this email out.

“Dada…Dada…Dada…give me your eyes,” he said as I then suddenly stopped everything and gave him my undivided attention. His face lit up with joy as he showed me what he had drawn, after which he was content and went off to play.

The irony here is that my three-year-old doesn’t know time (yet) but he actually waited one second before asking me again, and again and…well you get the idea.

  • The question is: “Why did it take so long” for me to be present?
  • The answer is: I got my priorities backward. I did what most people do, assume we have more time to make someone else wait or that the moment will wait for us.

The reality is that it won’t.

Time is the most precious commodity and we waste so much of it each and every day, missing out on the moments we may never get back.

Stop thinking you have all the time in the world, you don’t. You can’t recycle wasted time.

You may be surprised how much can happen in just one second, I know I was:

  • A bee will flap its wings over 270 times.
  • Over 2,000 pounds of edible food is thrown away in the U.S.A.
  • Six babies are born every second around the world.
  • 41,000+ status updates are posted to Facebook.
  • Americans consume 1,500 bottles of water.
  • Lightning will strike the ground 100 times.
  • Bill Gates will earn $250+ every single second.
  • 8,341,666,667 Hearts will beat worldwide
  • 2,437,859 Emails will be sent
  • Earth will travel 18.5 miles.

As many of us recently moved our clocks forward, I couldn’t help hearing the panicked cries about losing an hour of sleep, but if you really think about it, you haven’t lost anything. You still get the same 24hrs in the day or 86,400 seconds, and that’s exactly 86,400 chances to connect with those you care about personally and professionally.

For some tools to help with time freedom:

The next time your employee, spouse, partner, child, mentee, family member or friend asks you for a second of your time, think about the moment you may miss creating with that special someone by telling them to “wait a second”.

The floor is yours: You have 86,400 chances to make your time worth living. What will you do with yours?

Have an extra 2 minutes to discover more about yourself? Take the quiz to find out if you’re happy or comfortable.

[interact id=”5b97c86710e74b0014bd0c88″ type=”quiz”]

With Leadership,
Joshua
www.JoshHMiller.com

Joshua Miller

Joshua Miller is a creative leader and impactful executive coach.

His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator. He’s supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies.

Joshua studied at Syracuse University, NYU and Stanford. He combines that background with his deep knowledge of organizational behavior, performance and change management. He focuses on the analysis, design, development, delivery, and evaluation of scalable and global talent development solutions programs.

Joshua is a Master Certified Coach. He trained with the International Coaching Federation and CTI (The Coaches Training Institute).

Why Being Too Happy Is Bad For Your Career

Being happy may have worked out well for Bobby McFerrin, but that doesn’t mean you should walk around with a “fake it until you make it” mentality.

In life, there are definitely things that we overindulge on that we probably shouldn’t, such as alcohol consumption, working out, social media, Netflix and of course eating raw cookie dough – but what about happiness?

Is it possible to overindulge on being happy?

The short answer is yes.

According to one recent article, too much cheerfulness can actually make you selfish, gullible and potentially less successful. I don’t know about you, but my smile just shrunk a bit. The article clearly compares happiness to food which really makes sense:

Although necessary and beneficial, too much food can cause problems; likewise, happiness can lead to bad outcomes. “Research indicates that very high levels of positive feelings predict risk-taking behaviors, excess alcohol and drug consumption, binge eating, and may lead us to neglect threats.”

We can all thank Shakespeare for coining this now popular phrase “too much of a good thing” from his 15th century play “As You Like It”, but regardless of the century – we find ourselves at the crossroads of a world that’s designed around abundance…including cookie dough.

For help pushing yourself through stagnation:

We live in a 24/7/365 supersized world that forces us to overindulge on everything from technology to food. It’s hard to escape, but not impossible. Studies have shown that too many choices drive us to feel worse and that people who “maximize”—trying to make the best possible choice from a wide range of options—experience greater depression, perfectionism and self-doubt.

What about at work, could too much “happy” in the workplace be a bad thing?

I recently finished the incredible book The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your “Good” Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment where it states that happiness can indeed hurt your performance. It’s true that a positive culture and work environment boost happiness (ie: Google, Facebook, and Linkedin to name a few), however, there is a downside to all the perks. Studies have shown:

Happy people care less about details, which makes them less persuasive and prone to errors.
Happy people are more likely to recall false facts because they are focused on the bigger picture which lacks important details.

Joyful people might be greater managers, where they are accountable for executing a company strategy, whereas a less happy person could make a great head of quality management, where details are the most critical component.

If you think you’ll just “fake it until you make it” in the workplace, then you would be wrong.

According to the founder of the Emotion Machine, the “emotional labor”, it takes to pretend to be in a good mood can actually be very taxing on your physical and mental well-being, and thereby backfire on our overall happiness. The research reiterates what we previously discussed:

Another meta-analysis of over 3 decades of research found that faking positive feelings at work was associated with lower employee satisfaction and increased job burnout.

A third study published in Anxiety, Stress, and Coping found that volunteers at a call center who were told to “hide negative emotions” had greater increases in blood pressure and heart rate than those told to show their true feelings.

A recent study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology has found that hiding the “real you” at work can hurt motivation and productivity.
It’s not all doom and gloom.

There are a few ways both employees and employers can help balance the happy quotient.

Companies should aspire to create environments that support cultures where employee’s feel they can express themselves freely while being responsible and productive. This opportunity allows for that emotional release (both good and bad) to be aired out and addressed in real time. In the end, if you (the employee) isn’t happy at your current company or in your current role, then consider looking for something else.

Final thoughts: Grant yourself permission to feel less than positive from time to time. Embrace the negative emotions you have as they are critical to balancing the positive ones. Being ridiculously happy all the time is both unrealistic and rarely sustainable. You aren’t going to be Matthieu Ricard, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

The Floor Is Yours: Are you too happy or just too ehh? Take this quiz

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With Leadership,
Joshua
www.JoshHMiller.com

Joshua Miller

Joshua Miller is a creative leader and impactful executive coach.

His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator. He’s supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies.

Joshua studied at Syracuse University, NYU and Stanford. He combines that background with his deep knowledge of organizational behavior, performance and change management. He focuses on the analysis, design, development, delivery, and evaluation of scalable and global talent development solutions programs.

Joshua is a Master Certified Coach. He trained with the International Coaching Federation and CTI (The Coaches Training Institute).

The Real Reasons Your 2019 Commitments Won’t Last

In a world that appears to be heavily divided at times, it’s comforting to know that regardless of your race, religion, or political views, we’re most likely all going to fail together on our 2019 commitments before Valentine’s Day even hits. Not exactly the storybook ending you hoped for, but the harsh reality nonetheless. Read more

3 Reasons Your Company Has A Weak Coaching Culture

Leaders don’t listen.

There, I said it.

Okay, maybe not all leaders – but many of them are guilty of being overworked, under developed and lacking adequate time management skills, which as a result doesn’t allow them take the time to truly listen to their people resulting in some bad habits as a people manager.

So why is this important?

As a coach, you must be able to stay present, engage others through powerful questions and then wait long enough for a response from the other individual. Coaching is not about being right or knowing the answer, it’s about guiding the other person to the place where they can discover the answer on their own. Coaching is not about giving direction, leading the witness or bullying the other person into action.

If a leader doesn’t feel equipped with the necessary skills or training to do this, you won’t be creating a coaching culture…but rather a demanding one.

I’ve been writing about coaching for almost as long as I have been a coach and if there’s one thing I have witnessed, it’s the rise and fall of coaching cultures within organizations. It’s no secret that many companies want to create an empowering and impactful coaching culture but the odds of its success are not always clearly outlined. Last year, in my article “A Coaching Culture: Why Leaders Struggle As Coaches (Part 3)” I wrote about what it takes for an organization to seriously consider building out a coaching culture and the strategic work that’s involved, now I want to discuss “why” it isn’t working out (or working out as well as you would hope).

If you are one of the few organizations whose been trying to stand up a successful coaching culture and has experienced more failures than successes, don’t give up just yet. Although giving up may be the easiest of options, it’s worth first diagnosing what’s blocking your success.

Unfortunately, the decision to create such a culture can stem from a variety of places none of which are ideal if the goal is to create a successful coaching culture. Often times, the directive comes from the top down and the person or persons responsible for carrying out this initiative are either ill-equipped, ill-educated or ill-advised on how to execute effectively.

What comes next is something I have witnessed firsthand and all too often.

An organization sends a group of their pre-selected leaders to a workshop to learn a variation of one of the basic coaching models (usually called GROW) and then expect them to walk away prepared to coach anyone and anywhere. This is both fundamentally wrong and a disaster just waiting to happen. Organizations need to view this type of project like any other change initiative, using a systematic and strategic approach that’s been thought out well in advance and mapped to both a broader vision around the company’s talent development philosophy and roadmap.

“Changing culture is not as easy as changing your outfit”

Some basic questions organizations should consider before embarking on creating a coaching culture:

  • Why do we need this?
  • What specifically are we looking to achieve?
  • How will we know we were successful?
  • How do we know we’ve selected the right group of coaches?

Only  11% of senior leaders actively use coaching despite  70% of organizations claiming they coach their people

Here are three common reasons many organizations fail when it comes to successfully standing up a coaching culture:

The Framework Is Weak. Just as you can’t train anyone to be a coach if they aren’t interested in being one, you also can’t throw any coaching model into an organization and hope it sticks. GROW is widely used as the go-to model for many companies looking to train the trainer or introduce coaching within their functions and culture. The reason is obvious, it’s easy to understand and in theory apply but that’s where it falls apart. More times than not, the tool is introduced with the majority of time spent on what it is vs. how to use it. Having any model with little to no direction on its application renders it useless and potential harmful to others. It’s called coaching, not modeling. The coach is responsible for supporting the other individual’s growth and change, not the model. A good (or even great coach) will be able to see the potential in any model and decide how and when to apply it.

The Coach Is Weak. If your leaders training isn’t great, then don’t expect greatness from your leaders. Common challenges for coaches (at any level) right out of the gate is a common lack of presence. Being present is everything as a coach, and from there is where you (the coach) can actually go to work. When a coach isn’t properly trained, they are going to rely on what it’s comfortable and familiar which is typically the opposite of coaching. I see managers all the time with the best of intentions of actually looking to coach but in reality they are directing, giving advice or sometimes consulting. Coaching isn’t a check mark in a box, it’s a commitment to another person’s greatness to ensure they’re in check.

The Accountability Is Weak. I always tell my clients that the true value of the coaching work we do will come the moment the session ends and you go back to your life and apply what you learned. The same holds true in the workplace. The leader/manager’s duty as a coach doesn’t end when the session ends, in fact that’s when it begins. Holding your coachee/employee accountable to what was covered in the session, discovered through conversation and committed to before the next session is critical. People who receive coaching are usually lacking follow through (amongst some other common blind spots) and the best way to aid another person’s accountability is to demonstrate your own. Being accountable to your employee is about owning your integrity. You can’t expect someone else to follow through if you don’t.

Note: These two reports from HCI and the ICF “Building a coaching culture with millennial leaders” and “Building a coaching culture for change management” are both insightful and packed with incredible data.

The floor is yours: How important is coaching to your companies’ culture?

With Leadership,

Joshua | www.JoshHMiller.com

Joshua Miller is an executive coach, creative leader and bestselling author. His career spans both the advertising world and the world of leadership. In advertising, he was the creative lead, responsible for the campaign strategy for Fortune 100 brands. Today, he is an innovator. He’s supporting the executive development and change management for many of the same companies. Joshua is a Master Certified Coach trained with the International Coaching Federation and CTI (The Coaches Training Institute).

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