The global shift towards work-from-home policies, driven by the need to combat COVID-19, has rapidly made “social distancing” a household term. This new reality makes reconnection with colleagues and loved ones more vital than ever to combat feelings of isolation.

While authorities urge us to limit contact with others, potentially confining us to our homes with only immediate family, it’s crucial to recognize the importance of nurturing those relationships. A recent Washington Post article, featuring a real-time graph illustrating the impact of social distancing, highlights its effectiveness in slowing the virus’s spread.

Working from home while social distancing presents unique challenges, but your relationship shouldn’t become one of them. 

Close quarters, lack of privacy, and competing schedules can create a volatile mix for millions. Whether your relationship is a top priority or an afterthought, reconnection can help you navigate these challenges.

Social distancing and working from home are undeniably stressful. To help couples thrive during this time, I turned to relationship expert Bryon Remo, M.Ed., LMFT, for advice.

Here are excerpts from our conversation:

Me: What are you seeing at this time regarding relationships, and what should couples should be aware of?

Bryon: Many couples inadvertently become a bit cut off from their relationship for a variety of reasons; career, work, self-care, social life, etc. And although this may be considered a normal part of the adult journey, for many, overlooking their relationship is an unintended consequence of actually trying to help it. When couples fail to provide their relationship with the maintenance it needs, it can accidentally create a slow disconnect. In our pursuit of success, we need to be cautious not to leave our partner ourr scraps.

Me: Is there an opportunity for couples right now amidst the uncertainty?

Bryon: Because of the current social dilemma we have a unique opportunity to take stock of the health of our relationship and feed it a bit more attention. For some, this will be an awkward initiative as sharing frequent and intimate space with their partner has not been customary. But still, it is an incredible opportunity for those willing to reboot their relationship. This period can be seen as a time for reconnection.

Me: What would you say to couples who aren’t in the best place right now?

Bryon: This can be tricky as couples who have lost their playful spirit may need to first do a bit of repair work. It is no surprise that when relationships are put on the back burner, they will need to confront some hard truths. 

But for those willing to recalibrate their relationship, they can begin by asking each other a few questions:

1. Hi there…I’m (name), it’s so nice to meet you under quarantine, what name do you go by?
2. Would you like to talk about our relationship and see whether we can become reconnected?  (making a safe offering)
3. When we are at our best what is your favorite part of our relationship? (creating positive remembrance)
4. What do you think interferes most with our closeness? (asking the hard question with respect)
5. What one thing can I do for you that would make you feel more loved? (action planning, gauging willingness)
6. Do you want to try and take advantage of some of this time to have some fun? (lighter side potential?)
7. What do you feel about setting some guidelines for how we argue? (putting up guardrails to protect the relationship)

Me: These sound great, but do they work?

Bryon: These questions are designed to gauge you and your partner’s willingness to share openly and honestly. They also provide an opportunity to become more vulnerable with one another and to determine some of the things that may need to be taken out of the relationship (anger, criticism, isolation) as well as ingredients that may need to go into the relationship (patience, understanding, engagement).

Couples should consider what is working in their relationship and what is interfering with their closeness. Because some problems cannot be solved, but only tolerated, we need to ensure that our time is well spent closing the gap on the issues most important to the health of our relationship. Reconnection can help address these issues.

In summary:

Relationships will face tests as we navigate this pandemic. Antarctica might be the only coronavirus-free continent, but relocating your life and relationship there isn’t feasible for most. Instead, seize this time to not only focus on work but also on self-improvement and strengthening your relationship. Reconnection is essential.

The Floor Is Yours:  How do you stay productiveworking from home?