Being Authentic: The Ultimate Leadership Trap

After completing my first book, “I Call Bullshit: Live Your Life, Not Someone Else’s,” readers bombarded me with questions about authenticity and how to live authentically. Indeed, in today’s workplace, people equate authentic leadership with peak performance, making it the gold standard many strive for. Sounds appealing, doesn’t it? However, let’s not rush to embrace this overused and often misunderstood term. As Dov Baron, an Inc. Magazine Top 100 Leadership Speaker, wisely says, “No true greatness was ever achieved without great opposition.” Essentially, the concept of the “authentic leader” brings confusion, costs, and challenges of authentic leadership:

The Confusion of Authenticity

First and foremost, many struggle with the word’s meaning. Dictionaries offer various convincing definitions, generally revolving around being true to oneself. Nevertheless, this leaves room for interpretation. More specifically, people often conflate two fundamentally different types of authenticity:

  • Emotional authenticity: Expressing your true feelings. This is what most people associate with authenticity.
  • Strategic authenticity: Prioritizing your goals over your feelings.

On the one hand, emotionally authentic leaders can build stronger bonds by fostering trust through open expression. On the other hand, strategically authentic leaders focus on achieving goals, sometimes requiring them to put emotions aside. Ultimately, effective leaders understand this and demonstrate high emotional intelligence. Mastering this balance takes practice, skill, and empathy.

Furthermore, leaders face difficult situations demanding tough decisions, often with uncertain outcomes. The challenges of authentic leadership are evident here. Consequently,even the best leaders grapple with knowing what to do and say. Finding the right balance in self-expression is crucial. Just as there can be too little authenticity, so too can there be too much. Great leaders understand this, but it comes at a cost.

The Cost of Authenticity

To illustrate the cost of authenticity, I turned to Adam Grant, whose work in the World Economic Forum highlights three potential downsides of excessive authenticity:

  • Hindered growth: INSEAD professor Herminia Ibarra suggests that an intense focus on being true to oneself can stifle growth and evolution.
  • Oversharing: Brené Brown, in her book “Daring Greatly,” distinguishes vulnerability from oversharing. Research indicates that those prioritizing authenticity may overshare personal information, potentially harming professional relationships.
  • Creating feelings of inferiority: Studies show that employees may become less creative and helpful under highly authentic leaders who strongly emphasize their values. This can inadvertently silence employees, the opposite of what authentic leadership should encourage.
Challenges of Authentic Leadership

The Challenge of Authenticity

In addition to the costs, authenticity in the workplace presents numerous challenges. The Harvard Business Review article “The Authenticity Paradox” summarizes these challenges of authentic leadership:

  • Evolving roles: As leaders advance, a strong sense of self can become an obstacle to adapting and changing.
  • Cultural differences: Global business requires navigating diverse cultural norms and expectations, potentially creating conflict between authenticity and effectiveness.
  • Constant scrutiny: In today’s hyper-connected world, leaders must carefully manage their online persona, which can clash with their private self.

To better understand this complexity, the framework of “The Three Selves” offers a nuanced perspective:

  • Authentic Self: Expressing your core values, beliefs, and emotions without fear of consequences.
  • Performing Self: Conforming or masking aspects of yourself to avoid negative repercussions.
  • Adapted Self: Consciously choosing to modify behavior to meet your own needs or the needs of others.

Finding the Balance

In summary, there’s no single formula for authentic leadership, but great leaders share common traits. To begin with,start by understanding yourself, including your preferences and triggers. Moreover, connect with others through humility, vulnerability, and genuine care. Finally, seek regular feedback to learn and grow. Above all, remember, leadership is about people. The challenges of authentic leadership are ongoing and require adaptability.

The Role of a Leadership Coach

Navigating the complexities of authentic leadership can be a daunting task. This is where a leadership coach can be invaluable. Leadership coaches are trained professionals who specialize in helping individuals develop and refine their leadership skills, including navigating the challenges of authentic leadership.

Specifically, a skilled leadership coach can provide:

  • Personalized Guidance: Firstly, they can help you understand your own definition of authentic leadership, aligned with your values and goals. This includes identifying your strengths and weaknesses in expressing both emotional and strategic authenticity.
  • Objective Feedback: Furthermore, a coach can offer unbiased perspectives on your leadership style, helping you identify blind spots and areas for improvement.  In other words, they can help you understand how your actions and behaviors are perceived by others, allowing you to adjust your approach for greater impact.
  • Tools and Strategies:  Moreover, leadership coaches can provide you with practical tools and techniques for developing your emotional intelligence, managing your public persona, and navigating challenging conversations with colleagues.
  • Accountability and Support:  Finally, a coach can help you set realistic goals and create a plan for achieving them. They provide ongoing support and encouragement, helping you stay motivated and committed to your development as an authentic leader.

Ultimately, investing in a leadership coach is an investment in yourself and your future. By working with a coach, you can develop the self-awareness, skills, and confidence needed to lead authentically and effectively in today’s complex world.

Your Turn:

How challenging is it to foster a workplace culture that embraces authentic behavior?

With leadership,

Joshua | www.JoshHMiller.com | “I Call Bullshit: Live Your Life, Not Someone Else’s”

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