you are who you spend with

This powerful quote from Jim Rohn is based on the law of averages and contrary to what many believe isn’t backed by any hardcore science but rather in the spirit of common good sense and intuition. There is, of course, the long-standing belief that the behavior of those around you impacts you in some ways. I wrote about this a few months ago on the topic of “mastermind groups” and the power of likeminded people and teams supporting one another.

Why You Should Care:

  • Your environment (specifically the people in it) has a huge impact on whom you become and you need to be intentional with whom you choose to associate if you care about who you become in the future.
  • You have the power to control who you become. Not only internally through personal development, but by choosing with whom you associate. If you associate with people who are smarter than you, wealthier than you, kinder than you, and who are more successful than you, you gain the potential of becoming more like these people. Conversely, if your inner circle consists of negative, sarcastic people who are irresponsible and lazy, than the same theory applies.

Here are 7 ways I found in my research that when practiced intentionally, could attract the right people into your life:

  1. Be Specific
    This entails taking several factors into consideration such as; what you want, the kind of people you want to meet and work with and the specific attitudes and values you expect them to have. Understanding exactly what you want and the people you want to associate with will help you identify the people who possess the qualities you desire.
  2. We Attract Who We Are
    If you exude more positive energy, then you will receive more positive energy as well. Therefore, after defining what positive means to you in terms of behavior and attitude, remember that: misery loves company and passion attracts passion and so on. Therefore, you must strengthen the values you value most in others and yourself.
  3. Use Your Intuition To Clarify Smart Choices
    Most people draw conclusions mainly from surface data; how a nice person looks or how situations add up on paper. However, in order to attract positive people into your life you must go deeper and consider other relevant factors. You must respect intuitions about your relationships in order to identify those that show compatible matches. Do you feel energized and safe or insecure and frustrated?
  4. Magnetize People By Seeing The Best In Them
    Choose to energize the positive qualities in a situation or person instead of accentuating the worst. The objective is not to ignore intuitive red flags, be politically correct, make nice, flatter, and placate abusers or deny the dark side of people. Your main goal is to elevate communication in difficult relationships and mine all the gold in the positive ones.
  5. Identify Your Finest Qualities And Speak From Them
    Pinpoint your best qualities and project them to other people. This could be sensitivity, irreverence, humor, or compassion. You can enlarge your energy field by simply getting out of your comfort zone and speaking out. In order to feel the positive energy you must focus on your strength and not your insecurity. Selective attention shifts your perspective to your positive attributes making it easier to move forward confidently.
  6. Ask Questions
    Get to know the people you meet. Ask them questions about their lives. Find out a little more about them. You can’t expect to attract good people if you’re always inviting in the wrong ones. Get to know them a little bit.
  7. Become More Self-aware
    Take time to evaluate your negative belief systems and thoughts and heal them through ways such as introspection, journaling, psychotherapy or working with a coach. The idea is to address areas that may be causing you to project a negative image. Remember to practice self love and incorporate humor and fun into your life in order to keep your energy carefree and light.

Here Is How To Quickly Audit Your Network Today:

  • Write down the five people with whom you spend most of your time. Who are they? What do they do with their lives? How ambitious are they, how successful have they been, how happy, optimistic, and enthusiastic are they?
  • Assign a numerical value to each person from 1 to 10, and then calculate your average (with 10 being the most positive influence possible). How does each person affect your average? Does your total score surprise you? If the results were less than what you hoped for, it maybe time to audit your inner circle.


Final thoughts:
The people in your life should elevate both your thinking and performance. You can influence your whole life by taking control of who is in your inner circle. Remember, the cost of being positive is very little whereas the benefit of being positive is tremendous. Start today.

The floor is yours: 
How do you attract the right people?

Please leave your comment below as your insights are greatly appreciated and a learning opportunity for everyone reading this article.

With leadership,

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