When Workplace Culture Goes Wrong

The workplace has always catalyzed human emotion and connection. Dealing with passive aggressive behavior in the workplace can be challenging. It brings people together with a common purpose and intention that everyone will work side by side to reach their goal(s). Sound too good to be true?

Probably because it is.

The place we all go to for forty plus hours a week, huddle around coffee machines and offices and share our deepest and darkest thoughts about our weekends, problems, significant others, bosses and colleagues while working hard (and hopefully smart) to finish a project or reach some timely deadline…so what could possibly go wrong?

Well, pretty much everything.

When it comes to culture within organizations, many companies take considerable measures to ensure cohesive environments where everyone can feel happy, empowered and excited to go to work but unfortunately it doesn’t take much to disrupt the environment. When it comes to human behavior the opportunities are plenty. Passive aggressive behavior can tear both a culture and a person’s spirit apart in a matter of seconds.

“Passive aggression is a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings of  anger . It involves a variety of behaviors designed to get back at another person without the other recognizing the underlying anger.”

In researching this topic, I came across a powerful and insightful article by Signe Whitson L.S.W. where she laid out a variety of passive aggressive phrases that can erode workplace culture. For example, I found seven relevant and prevalent issues below and added my own thoughts on mitigating them.

Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace: Phrases To Watch Out For In The Workplace

I’ll Get it to You Tomorrow. 

Postponing, and stalling are all classic passive aggressive tactics at work. The more an employee can verbally agree to a task, but behaviorally delay its completion, the more they can interrupt work flow and frustrate those who rely on them.

I Never Got the Message. 

Passive aggressive workers often pretend to have temporary hearing loss, convenient loss of sight, and bad memories when it’s time to fulfill workplace responsibilities. Other common sayings that may signal passive aggressive task avoidance may include: “I must not have heard you say that” OR “I didn’t see the e-mail” OR “I forgot to put it on your desk”

No One Ever Told Me. 

Passive-aggressive workers often say, “No one told me,” to justify their undone work and incomplete tasks. This excuse closely resembles, “I wasn’t trained on how to do that.” By claiming ignorance, the covertly hostile worker shirks responsibility onto the shoulders of others.

I Thought You Knew. 

Passive aggressive workers often commit crimes of omission in the workplace, choosing not to share a piece of information even when they know that doing so could prevent a problem. For example, by claiming, “I thought you knew,” a jealous worker fails to alert their colleague about a mandatory meeting.

You Didn’t Get Back To Me, So I Just Checked With Your Boss. 

Do you have an employee who relishes any opportunity to make others look bad? They might not even be trying to gain recognition for themselves—they simply want to diminish others. By going over someone’s head and innocently claiming, “You didn’t call back, so I just checked with your boss,” the passive aggressive person thwarts a workplace hierarchy and makes their target appear unresponsive and incompetent.

I Was Sick. 

When a worker is consistently and suddenly ill on the days that large projects are due or their contribution to a meeting is crucial, a red flag should go up in your mind that passive aggression may be the source of their sickness. While we all get sick from time to time, the passive aggressive employee “plans” sick days around sabotaging their workplace.

That’s Not My Job. 

Passive-aggressive employees often avoid undesirable tasks by claiming, “That’s not my job,”. Sticking rigidly to their job description to frustrate colleagues.

Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace: What To Do When Confronted

When faced with unacceptable behavior, remain calm and walk away if necessary. If the behavior continues, report it to HR. Some people may be unapproachable. Here are four tips to remember when dealing with passive aggressive colleagues in the workplace:

• Remain calm, and stay focused on the current moment – resist the temptation to get emotionally triggered, it’s a slippery slope into the past. If you fall the for the bait, you risk empowering their conversation about how they arrived to the current situation and all the evidence they’ve collected as to why they are right (and you are wrong).
• When confronting someone with passive aggressive tendencies, it’s best to refrain from using the word “you” and instead opt for “I” as the first option will be met with a defensive posture and most likely deaf ears. Focusing on yourself leaves little room for the aggressor to fall back on their victim story.
• Pick your battles in service of the war. Depending on who this person is that exhibits this poor behavior, use your best judgement before taking any action. When we are emotional, our ability to make sound judgments goes out the window. Find a trusting friend or peer and seek some perspective.
• Lastly, if the situation continues, tell the person directly that their actions have consequences and you will report them. This may sound like a threat, but consider it a warning and a promise. Don’t be combative, be assertive and stand your ground.

Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace:What To Watch Out For In People

Spotting passive aggressive behavior isn’t always as easy as it sounds. In fact, people who are typically passive aggressive in nature can be so subtle that the effect of their words or actions may not even be felt until minutes, hours or days later. Knowing what to look out for could save you both time and happiness. Here are some red flags:

• They constantly look for the upper hand by acting in ways that are both subtle, frustrating and unprofessional. This can show up in terms of making you wait on them, purposely disengaging when you are speaking or finding ways to trip you up in public (or via email).
• They rarely share what’s really going on with them. You won’t know when they are hurt, upset or having a tough day. Everything is fine, life is fine and all is great. Don’t be fooled. The constant submission of emotion can lend itself to acting out with the intent to bring others down to their level.
• Inclusion is not a word in their vocabulary. Passive aggressive people relish in excluding others who they feel have wronged them. This can take shape in the form of an invite to go somewhere, credit for a project or just outright being dismissive.
• Last by definitely not least, their warmth comes with it, a brisk chill. Compliments are accompanied with a question about the significance or validity of the very thing they are complimenting you on. This can leave you wondering why you felt great one moment and confused the next.

 

The Role of Executive Coaching in Addressing Workplace Culture Issues

Executive coaching in Chicago, Illinois, can play a significant role in addressing and mitigating the effects of passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace. Executive coaches can help individuals and teams identify and address the root causes of passive-aggressive behavior, develop more effective communication strategies, and build stronger relationships. Through coaching, individuals can learn to recognize their own passive-aggressive tendencies and develop more assertive and productive ways of interacting with colleagues. Executive coaches can also help leaders create a more positive and inclusive workplace culture that discourages passive-aggressive behavior and promotes open and honest communication. By investing in executive coaching, organizations in Chicago can foster a healthier and more productive work environment where employees feel valued, respected, and empowered to contribute their best work.

 

Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace Final thoughts: 

No matter what, pay close attention to how you speak and treat others in the workplace. Notice what triggers your emotional surges and who you are speaking with at that time. Find ways to acknowledge what’s happening but always be responsible in how you handle yourself and the situation. Someone who has spent their entire life being the passive-aggressor knows how to take advantage of others and situations and their toxic behavior will erode the workplace culture if not addressed.

If you think you suffer from passive aggressive behavior. Here’s a free assessment I found online.

The floor is yours: How do you deal with passive aggressive people in the office?