I suck at this.
I am not worthy.
I am not good enough.
I am going to look stupid.
Any of these sound familiar?
If you’re immediate answer is “no”, then I suggest you think again and find a quiet place and listen closely because they are indeed there – silently lurking in the background waiting to strike at the first sign of happiness. There are many disempowering thoughts we all share; this article discusses 6 of the most popular lies you need to stop telling yourself.
By lying to ourselves, we mortgage our long-term needs in order to fulfill our short-term desires.
Our minds play tricks on us everyday – including my own. Most of the time you aren’t aware it’s even occurring. We engage in negative self talk and thought patterns that inhibit our personal growth and limit our ability to live a full and grounded life. What’s presented in real time isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be but rather an illusion of what our brain has perceived. It’s easy to then zoom in on what’s presented and begin collecting evidence both from your past and present to back it up without checking first if it’s fact or fiction. Once you believe those lies, they become self-fulfilling prophesies. When you do this, you inherently limit your true potential for happiness and success.
Here’s a list of 6 common lies that love to sabotage your thoughts on a daily basis:
- If only I was lucky at (fill in blank), I would be successful.
There is no such thing as being lucky. Luck is simply opportunity meeting preparation. You must be prepared to meet and make your luck head on. You must work smart (and sometimes hard) to prepare yourself for opportunities when they arise. Being passive won’t work but patient while working will. - That person (fill in the blank) has it so much easier than me.
How do you know? Did you ask them their life story? Chance are you haven’t and there’s a better chance you may actually not even know the person in mind. In reality we are all facing, fighting, coping, managing and dealing with our own lives and most of the time we “think” we know how others are handling theirs but we only see what they want you to see. Don’t be fooled but don’t be discouraged either. Having a role model or someone to aspire to be like can be a huge motivator – just be sure you’ve done your homework before building the pedestal for this individual.
- I couldn’t do (fill in the blank) before so why try now.
Finding the reasons as to why you can’t do something is easy. Building new habits and collecting evidence of new skills and strengths takes patience and an open mind. An open mind to understand that the past was just the past and your circumstances were most likely different now. No one ever said it would be easy but it’s most likely going to be worth it – especially since it’s rearing its head again. Seize the moment but be patient with yourself. Look for new and exciting ways to have this experience go differently. You get to say how it goes, not your circumstances. - I don’t have enough time to (fill in the blank).
Not having enough time is an epic tale of deception and one that we have openly embraced. Loving the idea of something and even discussing it with everyone under the sun is the fun part but equally fun can be taking action. Using time as an excuse is a cop-out. Everyone gets the same 24 hours in the day and it’s not about time but rather your relationship to the time you have. In the end, if it’s important – you will find a way and if it’s not you will find an excuse. - If I could just do (fill in the blank), my life would be awesome. This is quite possibly one of the biggest lies I hear as a coach. We set ourselves up for a life of total opposition (ie: I need “A” to do “B” or I can either have “A” or “B” but not both) or what some call “lining up the ducks” – which is waiting for the perfect moment. There is no perfect moment but simply the present moment in time and the one that is calling for you to step into it. If you’re always looking for what’s next it becomes quite difficult to appreciate what’s now.
- I have to do (fill in the blank) before I can get started.
There will always be multiple paths and solutions to any problem, question or goal – your job is to be open, flexible and curious and not settle for what’s presented in front of you. Too often we take what’s given and if that doesn’t work out, we toss in the towel not thinking there maybe an alternative path to success. If plan A doesn’t work, move on to B and then C…there are many more letters in the alphabet.
Final thoughts:
Whatever you believe will filter your awareness and limiting beliefs will ultimately keep you from reaching your fullest potential. Start now, by recognizing your thoughts, and don’t be afraid to question them and redefine them. Stop lying to yourself and stop believing the lies you hear about you. The simplest and most powerful thing you can do to shift this behavior is to start believing in you and remind yourself daily that you are capable and worthy of a happy and successful life.
The floor is yours: What lies do you believe typically derail success?
Please leave your comment below as your insights are greatly appreciated and a learning opportunity for everyone reading this article.
With leadership,
Joshua
www.JoshHMiller
Please click ‘Follow’ if you would like to hear more from me in the future.