No one likes, wants or asks for negative people to invade their life. Here are five steps to remove the negative and increase the positive.
Being surrounded by negativity, especially in human form really sucks. In fact, after 25 years of research, Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University concluded the following:
The choice of a negative “reference group” was in itself enough to condemn a person to failure and underachievement in life.
Here are just a few of the ways in which these types of people can negatively impact you and your life:
- They try to control you
- They disregard your boundaries
- They take without giving
- They are always right
- They love to be victims
- They lack accountability
Follow these 5 steps to break free from those negative people and influences:
Step 1: Decide That You’re Worth It
When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired with certain people, it’s usually a sign you are at the end of your rope. You need to feel as if you’re worthy of achieving your goals and changing into the person you want to be. It’s time you committed to yourself, your goals, and your dreams. If you’re not sure, think about the negative side effects of holding onto these people in your life, and their impact on your goals and overall happiness.
Step 2: Identify The Toxic People
Watch out for people who negatively affect your other relationships, invade your space, and take up a lot of your time. If a person makes you feel uncomfortable or unproductive, that’s a red flag. These people are victims (or victimized by someone or something) and tend bring your energy level down and the focus is typically on them and their problems (all the time). There is a difference between someone sharing with you their struggles/challenges versus someone who constantly complains about their own.
Step 3: Let Them Go By
Boundaries are key in maintaining your sanity, wellness and happiness. If people don’t respect your boundaries, they aren’t respecting you. Make a list of your own personal boundaries, and don’t be afraid to tell others if they cross them. Use whatever method you think is appropriate and respectful but stand strong in delivering what you need to be happy.
Step 4: Remind Yourself Daily Why
& Don’t Feel Guilty
This may sound silly to some but the power of belief can be your best friend. It’s your life and you’re in control of your thoughts, feelings and ultimately actions. It’s important to remind yourself of this daily. Contrary to your normal hardwiring, you’re not abandoning these people but in fact allowing them to find their own path and place in life while you honor yours.
Step 5: Bring In The Positive
Now comes the fun and goodness. It’s your turn to say how you want your life to look and it starts now with whom you choose to surround yourself with. Look for people who will support your ambitions, support you to be a better person, encourage your ideas because they know how important it is for “you” and ultimately share like-minded beliefs. The better and brighter company you keep – the better and brighter you will become. Here’s how to begin taking action today:
- Take ten minutes right now and think about the people who you spend a lot of time with – at home, in the work place and socially. Who are they? Who are the positive influences? Who are negative one’s? Now, look at your list of negative influences and begin to slowly reduce the amount of time you spend in those relationships by following the steps above.
Take note that this process can be a marathon versus a sprint and the key to success will be your ongoing commitment to your personal happiness. Remember that no matter how hard you try, negative people will influence you in one way or another. It’s not your obligation to keep these people in your life regardless of the relationship. Whatever the reason, people grow and change and it’s normal for relationships to evolve, or dissolve. In the end…
The floor is yours: How do you create a positive life?
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