One of the most important qualities a woman can have is confidence but recent science tells us that confidence in women isn’t as common as it is in men. Whether it’s “leaning in” or simply standing out – there are 10 common traits highly confident women exude.
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. – Ayn Rand
“Just have confidence!” is something we’ve all heard throughout our lives but sadly it’s not something readily found online that you can simply have sent with prime shipping straight to your door. While obtaining confidence isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, once you get some – it’ feels extraordinary.
What is confidence?
- Contrary to what society shows online or tells on tv, confidence is knowing what you’re good at, the value you provide, and acting in a way that conveys that to others. It’s not luck or your parents genes, in fact it’s entirely the result of the thoughts you have about yourself and the subsequent actions you take. It has nothing to do with your actual ability to succeed at something but your belief in your ability to succeed at something.
What’s not confidence?
- For starters, being arrogant – which typically involves believing you are better in a particular area than you are, or low self-esteem which involves believing you’re less valuable than you think.
There’s no denying a confident woman. They appear to have it all together, remain calm under pressure and most importantly know their self-worth and value. Here are 10 common traits I found that all confident women exude:
- They focus on their strengths. Confident women (like all people) recognize there are gaps in their abilities and they consciously look to close on them and improve themselves while still honoring what got them to where they are today…there strengths.
- They don’t engage in gossip. Confident women don’t talk about other women, they talk about their goals, plans and aspirations. They recognize the importance of staying neutral..
- They honor their self-care. Confident women know that they need to take care of themselves to do and be their best. They value a healthy work/life balance which includes eating well, sleeping enough and rewarded their efforts for a job well done.
- They aren’t afraid of their purpose. The rules have changed significantly and history has paved the way for todays women to define their own purpose. She is fearless and passionate in her life’s pursuits and is proud to share it with others.
- They don’t buy into society’s idea of the perfect woman. To a confident woman, the “perfect woman” is one who sees herself for who she really is and who she isn’t and then fully embraces the full picture. She knows she doesn’t have to improve or change anything about herself unless she chooses.
- They understand there is power in saying no. Confident women don’t overcommit and they don’t make false promises. They just say no. Since she understands her value and self-worth, she’s conscious to commit to things that are aligned with her beliefs, passions and interests and as a results showing up 100% for what’s most important to her.
- They know when to ask for help. Critical to success, these women know trying to accomplish everything alone is an impossible feat. Confident women don’t feel threatened or belittled by seeking help from others. Just like a CEO has an entire team to assist with their daily functions, confident women have a support group ready to go.
- They own their feelings. No matter what the circumstance is, confident women strive to understand their emotions and own up to them. Whatever the range of emotion, they confront it head on and deal with it. They take the opportunity to express themselves without blaming others, and confirm that they are understood in the process.
- They don’t waste their time worrying. Time is valuable so spending it concerned about what-ifs, should-haves or could-have-beens is not useful to the confident woman. Their energy is spent on the here and now.
- They don’t see failures as the end but rather the beginning. Confident women are usually the ones who can tell you how many times Oprah, Arianna Huffington and J.K. Rowling failed before reaching iconic success. They recognize that on the path to success there will always be obstacles but they approach it with the comfort knowing what lies on the other side.
True, having great aptitude in a one area in your life can help bolster your self-worth, however it’s not an all or nothing equation for gaining self confidence. Someone with absolutely no competency in something can still be self-confident. New research into our brains activity tells us that rewiring our brains is possible in changing the way we think and behave. It comes down to your ability to practice a skill, learn something new or even ask for help to better understand a topic or issue. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know something, but pretending you do when you don’t won’t help your confidence.
The floor is yours: How do you build your confidence?
Please leave your comment below as your insights are greatly appreciated and a learning opportunity for everyone reading this article.