We live in a world where we are bombarded, seduced and some might say hypnotized with what success looks like. It’s quite easy to fall into this trap without even being conscious it’s happening to you. In reality, there are plenty of misconceptions and lies we begin to believe that sabotage our efforts to becoming successful. The truth is, there is no one single great secret to success but there a certain lies mentally strong people know to avoid and recognize how it will sabotage their performance in achieving their goals.
- It’s out of my control” – The truth is you can’t control everything that happens to you; you can only control your response to what happens. Your response is your power and it’s something you don’t want to simply throw away. Think before you act.
- “It’s too hard” – It’s been said, “that almost everything worth doing is hard’ but if you really think about it, what is hard? You can’t go to a restaurant and ask for a bowl of hard. Hard is simply a word you made up and attached to something that is either unknown or unfamiliar to you. Instead, take a little of leap of faith outside of your comfort zone and see what happens. In the end, you don’t get what you wish for; you get what you work for.
- “I’m not good enough yet” – You will never know until you try and once you try, you will know where you stand. Making mistakes is an integral part of growth and success. It means you are working at it and taking the time needed to move forward. If you wait until you think you are ready, the time will pass and so will the original opportunity. Time waits for no one. Carpe diem.
- “No one understands me” – How do you know? Have you taken the time to get to know them or better yet make yourself known? Everyone is fighting their own internal battle and worried about their own life. If it really matters to you that someone understands you, simply communicate and make it easy for them to do so. In the end, it’s not always critical that everyone understands and agrees with you. Remember, people can’t read your mind.
- “I don’t want to be judged” – I have some bad news for you, most people are judging you far less than it seems. In fact, while you’re busy worrying about what others think of you, they’re busy worrying about what you think of them. Silly if you think about it. Judgment is a part of life’s natural cycle. Remember, what you permit, you promote. Perception is not just everything, it’s the only thing.
- “I have way too much to lose” – It’s always better to be left with a few “oh wells,” than a bunch of “what ifs.” In the end, you will not regret the things you have done nearly as much as the things you have left undone. It’s better to have a lifetime full of experiences and mistakes you learned from, rather than a heart full of regrets and missed opportunities.
- “I don’t have time right now” – Got it, you have a lot on your plate. But when can you commit? Don’t use this excuse to push something aside forever. We all have 24 hours in the day. It’s never about time but rather your relationship to it. Take an honest look at your current commitments and ask yourself, “am I really committed to the success of this (blank)?” If so, great – now get to work. If not, then you probably want to lower this on your list of priorities. Honoring your word to what you say you will do is invaluable and ultimately how people measure your worth. Integrity is a muscle, strengthen yours.
- “I’m comfortable right now” – Putting on the cruise control and kicking back can be a slippery slope. It’s easy to coast and live a life of pre-programmed everything. The cold truth is that outside of your comfort zone is where growth begins. Gain some perspective and open the doors to new possibilities you could have imagined.
- “It’s too late” – My coach once told me, “there is no dress rehearsal, this is it – this is the big show now get out there.” It’s never too late to create the life you feel you deserve and aspire to have. It’s up to you, so make the best of it. Start small and do one thing every day that will draw you closer to a standing ovation.
- “I don’t deserve it” – We all have a victim complex in us, the difference is that those who are successful and mentally strong recognize that it’s just one voice and one side to a larger conversation called self-confidence. Victims believe they are not worthy of success and as a result have a laundry list of evidence to back up this belief. Next time you find yourself in a rut asking “why me?” ask “why NOT me?” and start collecting evidence of your greatness. You just may surprise yourself in what you discover.
In the end, if you really want something bad enough, you will find a way – if not,
you will find a lie to believe and the evidence to back it up.