The age-old question: how to find happiness? Is it an elusive state of being, dependent on external factors, or can we actively cultivate it within ourselves? Emerging science suggests that we have more power over our happiness than we might think. By understanding the inner workings of our brains and adopting practical strategies, we can embark on a transformative journey towards a more fulfilling and joyful life. Let’s explore nine powerful ways to rewire our minds and unlock the happiness that resides within each of us.

Dedicated to everyone who is up to the challenge of living a life full of happiness. #BetheBoss of your life, start today.

Is happiness something we can cultivate or is it a result of our environment?

New science suggests you can learn to be happier. Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson explains that “experience-dependent neuroplasticity” means our brains can be rewired by our experiences.

We all want to be happy, it’s a desire almost as strong as our need to breathe. Some would rather not be alive than to be alive and miserable while others don’t care too much at all. Our instant gratification generation is obsessed with chasing happiness, like it’s some kind of achievement or ultimate goal in life.

Studies have shown that our life circumstances are only 10% of our happiness; Making the way you respond to your experiences the most telling indicator of your well-being.

With such high expectations for being happy, it’s natural to feel that we’ll get there only through monumental effort. It doesn’t have to be so. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple mental shift to set us on track to a happier and more fulfilling life.

How to Find Happiness – 9 ways you can put yourself back on the path to happiness:

Stop thinking “Once I get this…then I will be happy”

We often fall into the trap of waiting for perfect conditions to be happy. This leads to constant waiting and only temporary happiness when we achieve our goals. Instead of setting rigid expectations, embrace the present and be open to new possibilities for lasting happiness.

Focus on happiness and stop trying to escape stress

Life is full of unexpected challenges. Instead of trying to avoid them, focus on building happiness to counterbalance them. The tougher life gets, the more you need an outlet to de-stress and recharge. Explore your career, relationships, finances, and well-being to find that outlet.

Redefine your criteria for success

The definition of success is completely subjective and far from linear. In fact, subscribing to another persons definition of success is a recipe for unhappiness. It ties happiness and fulfillment to a specific outcome. Life rarely bends to our will. True success lies in the journey, not the destination. Focus on completing challenging tasks and staying committed to your goals, regardless of external measures. Track your progress daily, no matter how small, to celebrate your growth over time.

Stop the drama and challenge your negative self-talk

We often sabotage our happiness by exaggerating problems and adopting rigid viewpoints. In other words, we fall into a victim mindset, clinging to negativity and seeking evidence to support it. As a result, we may overreact or become inflexible. However, each time you notice these negative patterns, challenge your perspective. For instance, ask yourself: “Is this the whole picture?”, “Am I being fair?”, “Will this matter in a year or five years?”, and “Is there something I can do?” Ultimately, these questions can help you regain a balanced perspective.

It’s okay to say no or to ask for a compromise

Often we believe that we can’t say no to the conditions imposed on us or negotiate for more acceptable terms. That is simply untrue. There is always a win-win scenario if you look long enough. When we don’t, we see situations as something cast in stone and ourselves as prisoners with no hope for escape. One thing is certain, if you don’t try to speak up (responsibly) for your needs and express your concerns – you are destined to get what you have. Look for ways and opportunities to insert yourself if you feel you are being set up for failure. An example of such communication would be “I need (insert request here) because…” as this could open up the conversation and allow you to speak to your concerns.

How to Find Happiness: The rule of 3 

Daily, jot down three good things that happened and consider why. These could be anything from a chat with a friend to a beautiful sunset. Ultimately, celebrating even the smallest of wins has a proven effect of powering motivation and igniting joy. Furthermore, as you start journaling the good and positive, the better you will get and feel.

Acknowledge someone (daily)

Acknowledging another person for something they did or are doing can go a long way. Showing others that you are noticing takes the emphasis on you and negative thoughts you may be having at the present time. Take a minute to say thanks or recognize someone for their efforts, from friends and family to people at work. A great way to go about this is by sending 1 daily email to someone or a simple “thank you” can go a long way.

 

Do something nice

A random (or not so random) act of kindness has been scientifically proven to increase happiness levels. Something as small and simple as making someone smile works. Pausing to do something thoughtful has the power to get you out of that negativity loop. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture of sorts – it can be something as simple and small as buying someone a coffee.

Mind your mind

Mindfulness is a hot topic and one that I have written about extensively on Linkedin. Although much has been discussed about this practice – the key is to pay attention to the present moment without judgment. I know, it’s not as simple as it is to write that statement so take a look here for some support. Opening our awareness beyond the narrowness of negativity can help bring back more balance and positivity into the picture. Regular practice of mindful meditation has been shown to affect the brain’s neural plasticity reducing the “gray matter” which is associated with stress and anxiety in the brain.

How to Find Happiness – Final Thoughts:

So you may be thinking that our brains are working just fine and why mess with something that’s not broken? But the fact of the matter is happiness isn’t something that happens to you. Happiness is something you can teach your brain to experience more fully.

The next time you are feeling down, unhappy or even unproductive – remember that the reason is quite (scientifically) simple: your brain is hardcoded to pay more attention to negative experiences. This self-protective trait isn’t something you learned; it’s ingrained. Your brain instinctively safeguards you by constantly scanning your surroundings.

If you don’t want to take my word for it, then maybe take neuropsychologist and Ph.D Rick Hansons suggestions:

Take in the good

Appreciating small joys fosters inner feelings of contentment, security, and love. So we have less of a sense of striving … Insecurity falls away because you’ve got the good stuff inside of yourself.”

How to Find Happiness: Focus on the positive experiences with the greatest personal impact

Hanson explains that we have three fundamental needs: safety, satisfaction, and connection. First, to overcome safety fears, seek positive experiences that boost your sense of security. Second, if the issue is connection-related, you should focus on small moments of positive interaction with others. Finally, if you’re anxious and feeling threatened, it would help to feel stronger and more protected inside.

How to Find Happiness: Be on your own side 

To be happy, actively choose joy. Hanson argues that we must advocate for our own happiness. He observes that we support loved ones through difficult emotions, but we often neglect our own well-being. Instead of helping ourselves, we dwell on negativity.

Maintain a sense of wonder

Einstein once said, “He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle.” And when it comes to taking in the good, a sense of wonder is key. Seeing the world with childlike wonder creates vivid memories that last longer.

How to Find Happiness – Try starting here: 

work on noticing where you are in the present moment and what you’re focusing on. Look out for negative signals that can narrow your current reality and cause a downward spiral. If that’s not enough to start you on the path towards more happiness, then think about this:

You have approximately 70,000 thoughts per day, So make sure you don’t think, “Why do I suck?” 50,000 times a day, or you may just collect enough evidence to support that.

How do you go about creating your own happiness? The floor is yours.

With leadership,
Joshua

*****

Not-your-typical Personal and Executive Master Certified Coach.

Joshua Miller is a creative and impactful leader. His career experience has spanned both the advertising world and the world of leadership and organizational development. In advertising, he was responsible in delivering campaign strategies for Fortune 100 companies. Now he innovates and delivers results when supporting executive talent development and change management for the same clients.

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