Nowadays it feels like you can find a life coach like you can find an Uber. They are everywhere, but that doesn’t mean they should be.
It should come as no surprise that having a coach is still seen as a perk or luxury and rightfully so.
Coaches aren’t cheap.
They also aren’t for everyone.
On average, I spend a few hours every week speaking with individuals interested in coaching. These are not potential clients but rather people who are interested in becoming a coach or seeking a coach for them.
I do this for 3 reasons:
- Navigating the coaching landscape can be confusing
- If someone is genuinely interested in improving their life and curious if a coach is the next thing for them, I will happily take the time to guide them through the process.
- Last but not least, people deserve to be happy in their life and if I can support that, then count me in.
So what does this all mean?
It means just because you want a coach, and there’s one available, doesn’t mean you are ready. Face it, there are a lot of things in life we think we are ready for but rarely is it true when the time comes. Coaching is one of those things.
Working with a coach, much like a therapist can require you to be vulnerable, intimate and trusting in ways you may not have considered before. This is critical to note as this isn’t always discussed upfront with individuals (by coaches) and it should be.
“Coaching is not like training, where you are learning new skills. Coaching is simply enhancing the skills you already have”
There are plenty of reasons why someone isn’t in a position to be coached. Here are a few reasons that may seem familiar to you, if you are not ready for a coach.
Lack of Interest
If you are having a coach thrust upon you, say, in a work situation, you may feel some resistance. You may even feel some resentment. Perhaps you are happy right where you are. If you are not interested in career advancement and all the challenges that accompany it, you won’t be open to coaching.
Not everyone is open to coaching or feedback, in particular, when it is uninvited or feels unwarranted. We usually know what we want from our life and career, so having someone try to tell us different can often just be ignored, especially if we didn’t choose it.
Perhaps you think you are doing just fine on your own. Not everyone is open to hearing about the potential gaps in their life both personally or professionally. Perhaps you know someone else who went through coaching. Their experience can change your mind rather quickly on the merits of their coaching experience.
Even if they shout non-stop about how great it was, that can be a real turn-off. Not everyone wants to find that ultimate high and it can sound like a lot of B.S. coming from a complete stranger. How do they know what’s right or best for you?
Your Dreams Are Different
Having a coach help you navigate all the directions your life or your career should go can be confusing. Perhaps you already have a plan on the direction they should go. That’s fine. We don’t all need to be Oscar winners or CEOs. Some of us are fine just getting by and doing their thing at their own pace.
Your dreams are yours and having a stranger tell you otherwise can be annoying and may even cause you to second guess your own decisions. We all don’t need to climb every mountain. Not everyone aspires to reach the top, some simply enjoy the journey.
We Don’t All Want The Same Thing
Climbing up the corporate ladder might seem appealing to many people, but not everyone wants to. Sometimes, we are just happy at our workplace to collect our paychecks and enjoy our lives.
Being coached at your place of employment is different from having an external coach on your own. You may not have wanted to be coached at work, as perhaps a leadership track isn’t part of your plan (at your current company).
Here are a few other signs you may not be ready to engage with a coach:
- The idea of change makes you queasy
- You aren’t willing to put skin in the game
- You blame others for your shortfalls
- You are looking for a friend or therapist
- You want to be told what to do
IN CONCLUSION: Hiring a coach would indicate there is something currently lacking in your life. Many of us have plenty to worry about already. Having a coach is helpful if you want to advance or transform your life but it’s not a necessity. If you already feel happy with your life or your career, then you will not be open to coaching, nor would you need one.
Do your homework. Take your time. Find out if you are ready to make the leap. If you are, go for it and be open to the experience. And don’t worry if you fall, a qualified coach will catch you.
The Floor Is Yours:
Would you hire a coach & why?