Why Leaders Struggle As Coaches. It’s Not What You Think.

For some, managing others is a welcomed challenge and a true calling but for others, it’s a chore and a cavernous time suck. There are many facets to managing employees but today’s focus is on coaching and when it comes to this skillset, the divide grows greater. The reason for this gap lies squarely on their shoulders or should I say ears and their ability to use active listening skills to truly listen to their people versus just “hearing” them.

I am referring to a specific type of listening. Not the type of listening that involves a lot of “aha..,yes…I see…gotcha” but the type of listening where one pays close attention and listens for the content and context simultaneously. 

This article will break down the following:

  • Why listening is a critical component to success
  • The difference between listening and hearing
  • The benefits of developing your listening skills

NOTE: For the sake of this article, I am not using the term “coaching” in the context of a certified and trained coach but rather using the basic fundamentals of coaching to improve employee performance.

active listening skills

For the better half of my professional career, I have been working with and developing leaders. And, I can see and say without any hesitation that honing your listening skills is vital, if not critical, to being successful. However, the world evolves quickly. As a result, our on-the-go lifestyle has changed conversations. We use 140 characters and emojis instead of conventional exchanges.That said, when you do have the opportunity to speak with someone live (and preferably in person), the ability to listen and “get” the other person is invaluable to both your employee and yourself.

Active Listening Skills: The Importance Of Listening To Others

Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. In other words, it’s how we make sense of, assess, and respond to what we hear. Listening is key to all effective communication. However, without the ability to listen effectively, communication erodes, a breakdown generally ensues, and as a result, the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated. Therefore, employers embed listening as a “soft skill” into the most relevant qualifications they seek in candidates. According to a Fast Company article which cited a 2014 Multi-Generational Job Search Study, employers in today’s modern workplace are looking for:

  • Communication skills and “emotional intelligence”
  • Solving problems
  • Positive attitude and ability to work in a team
  • Being dependable and getting the job done
  • Coaching coworkers
  • Being creative and innovative
  • Developing new work processes
  • Taking initiative

It goes on to say that one quality that all of these have in common is listening, specifically active listening. Furthermore, active listening involves being present in every conversation you have. In other words, listening with undivided attention communicates respect for the person with whom you are speaking.

Active Listening Skills: Listening Versus Hearing

Many people (not just leaders) confuse great hearing and memory for actual listening. It’s a common mistake the dupes one into thinking they are actually present and able to coach someone. The truth is, listening and hearing are so different that it’s going to require some unpacking.

  • Listening is defined as the learned skill, in which we can receive sounds through ears, and transform them into meaningful messages. To put simply, it is the process of diligently hearing and interpreting the meaning of words and sentences spoken by the speaker, during the conversation.
  • Hearing is the natural ability or an inborn trait that allows us to recognize sound through ears by catching vibrations is called the hearing. In simple terms, it is one of the five senses; that makes us aware of the sound. It is an involuntary process, whereby a person receives sound vibrations, continuously.

The styles and methods of listening run the gamut but a popular one when it comes to coaching others is called “active listening” which requires concentration and presence with the other individual. Active listening is a key element in making the communication process effective. Regardless of the style, the process of listening involves five stages: receiving, understanding, evaluating, remembering, and responding. An effective leader and listener actively listens and identifies the message directed at them. They understand the content while simultaneously evaluating or assessing it and respond (verbally or nonverbally) to the speaker. A process that happens rather fast but fear not, here is an excellent chart which further explains the differences:

Active Listening Skills: The Benefits Of Better Listening Skills

Regardless if you’re coaching another person, honing your listening skills will pay dividends in and out of the workplace. Some of the benefits include but are not limited to:

  • Expands capacity and knowledge
  • Intensifies successful conversation
  • Can save time and money
  • Allows better negotiations terms
  • Helps to detect and solve problems quickly
  • Promotes respect and trust
  • Provides new points of view and perspectives
  • You might learn something yourself
  • Create stronger bonds and relationships
  • Builds patience and tolerance

This Forbes article lays out six ways to start engaging with your people to help you get started.

Final thoughts: 

Regardless of whether you are a leader coaching an employee or simply someone looking to support a friend or loved one – listening will always be the foundation for a successful outcome. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes: “Speak in such a way that other love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.”

 

The Rise of Executive Coaching in New York

Executive coaching is thriving in New York City’s competitive business world. Consequently, leaders are seeking coaches to help them navigate complexities, enhance leadership, and achieve peak performance.The city’s demanding environment requires a unique blend of skills, and executive coaches are adept at tailoring their approach to meet the specific needs of these leaders.

 

The floor is yours: How do you hone your listening skills?

 

With leadership,

Joshua / www.JoshHMiller.com

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