10 Things I Want My Son to Learn Before He Becomes a Teenager
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Dedicated to all the incredible parents and people managers around the world who look to better themselves and those around them in shaping our future leaders. This article is for you. #BeTheBoss

Over the past fifteen-plus years, I’ve dedicated my career to developing leaders worldwide. For the past four years, I’ve also embraced the role of a proud “dad.” Therefore, whenever I come across something that stops me in my tracks professionally while prompting me to reflect personally, I take notice. Recently, my amazing wife shared an article from the Huffington Post, which outlined essential life lessons to teach a child—especially a boy—before reaching the teenage years. As I read through the article, not just once but multiple times, it sparked deep thoughts about the parenting journey. From the moment you bring your child home from the hospital, you find yourself on your own, tasked with teaching and developing the leaders of tomorrow.

Raising a child can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding jobs on the planet. Each day presents a fresh start, an opportunity to learn from previous days, and a chance to improve for the sake of your child and their future. The parallels between parenting and developing others, whether they are children or business professionals, are significant. Some of the best books on development weren’t authored by those with multiple degrees or high-ranking positions in prominent companies. Indeed, the lessons Shannon Ralph shared in the article could easily be applied to broader aspects of personal and professional growth, not just for boys. Though the list isn’t exhaustive, it thoroughly covers essential and, some might say, critical components for navigating life’s unknowns.

Here are ten powerful lessons I want my son to learn before he becomes a teenager:

  1. Kindness is power, not weakness.
    Gentleness and empathy are forms of strength, not signs of being “unmanly.” Too often, we underestimate the transformative power of kindness in developing character.


  2. A girl’s body belongs ONLY to her.
    You have no right to it, regardless of who she is or how long you’ve known her. She sets the boundaries, just as you set your own. Remember, a boy can say no too.


  3. Express your feelings.
    Use your words, don’t bottle up emotions. Feelings are what make us human, so don’t be afraid to express them, as it helps develop emotional intelligence.


  4. Cook, clean, and do your own laundry.
    Every man should know how to cook, clean, and do laundry. These are basic life skills, not “women’s work,” and they help in developing independence.


  5. Say “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” every day.
    Good manners may be undervalued in modern times, but they will set you apart in all areas of life and develop a sense of respect for others.


  6. Trust selectively.
    While it’s important to trust, people should earn it. We all need a circle of people we can rely on, but don’t give your trust away freely; developing trust requires discernment.


  7. A little confidence goes a long way, even if you have to fake it sometimes.
    Know that you are smart, capable, and talented. Sometimes you may have to act confident even when you don’t feel it.


  8. Never kiss and tell.
    It’s disrespectful and takes advantage of someone’s vulnerability. What happens between you and someone else is private.


  9. Sometimes the joke isn’t worth it.
    While humor is valuable, some things are more important than a perfect punchline. Consider the impact on others before making a joke.


  10. Explore the world.
    Broaden your horizons by traveling and experiencing different cultures. I will always be your home base, but the world is yours to explore and develop a broader perspective.


In conclusion, we live in a fast-paced world filled with as much uncertainty as hope. As technology evolves rapidly, it’s easy to overlook the significance of “offline” learning and personal development, not just for our children and future leaders but for ourselves too. Whether you’re a parent or not, we all have the power to instill these life lessons in others daily. We are all leaders in life, and it doesn’t take much to uplift another individual.

*****

Not-your-typical Personal and Executive Master Certified Coach.
Joshua Miller is a creative and impactful leader. His career experience has spanned both the advertising world and the world of leadership and organizational development. In advertising, he was responsible in delivering campaign strategies for Fortune 100 companies. Now he innovates and delivers results when supporting executive talent development and change management for the same clients.

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