Dedicated to all the Parents & Leaders around the world — Thank you for your commitment to those who need it the most. #SkillsGap
I recently read a fantastic article by Marc Chernoff regarding his struggle as a parent raising a young child and it really got me thinking about leadership lessons from parenting. It resonated with me personally as a parent (of an amazing four year old son) and professionally as a talent and development professional.
Below is part of the articles original list and then I included what I believe translates to critical skills every leader should possess in the workplace.
Leadership Lessons from Parenting: #1 Trust
” Trust yourself. You know far more than you think you do.”
- As a leader: Your role will require you to make tough decisions and take actions that you will undoubtedly question but that’s normal and in fact human. They key is to surround yourself with a great sounding board who can support you when needed and remind you who you are and why you are in that role in the first place. Here is an additional article to support you: 45 Things You Should Give Up Today To Live A Happier Life
Leadership Lessons from Parenting: #2 Unconditional Love
“Parenting is unquestionably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do, but in exchange it teaches you about the meaning and power of unconditional love.”
- As a leader: Being accountable for another person is filled with a myriad of unknowns. It too can be a hard thing – especially if you’ve never been in that seat before, but what’s possible is something…well, unconditional. Learning to care for another on any level shows an incredible amount of emotional intelligence amongst other critical qualities for a successful career. Some of the hardest roads are the ones less traveled but always worth the effort in the end. Here is an additional article to support you: 100 Movies To Motivate, Inspire and Promote Learning and Leadership
Leadership Lessons from Parenting: #3 Love
“No one is ever quite ready – every parent is caught off guard, again and again. Parenthood chooses you every day, not the other way around. It’s not a question of choice. It’s a presence, of love.”
- As a leader: Leadership roles can be challenging and push you beyond your comfort zone. Experience is often the best training for leadership. Leaders don’t have all the answers, but they can often spot opportunities for growth within their company, team, and themselves. Be open to new experiences and remember that leadership is a choice. If you’re in a leadership role, it means someone believes in your potential. Here is an additional article to support you: Practicing Mindfulness: 20 Reasons Why You Should Live in the Present
Leadership Lessons from Parenting: #4 Attitude
“Being a parent is a daily attitude, not a biological relation.”
- As a leader: Prioritize your people’s happiness and development. Whether you’re leading former peers or working for a family business, don’t let personal ties affect your decisions. Leading requires tough choices. Balance reason and empathy. Your attitude and vision guide your actions. Focus on the task and its successful completion.
Here is an additional article to support you: 25 Reasons You Should Never Give Up On Yourself
Leadership Lessons from Parenting: #5 Presence
“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to make time to be in their lives today. Every day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. The more present we are, the more deposits we get to make.”
- As a leader: Your true presence is required, not just physical attendance. Showing up fully at work and in life is a full-time job. Many struggle with this, but it’s crucial for a fulfilling life. As a parent, I know my son notices when I’m not truly present. I don’t want to miss these precious moments. As a leader, are you truly present for your people? Do you actively engage and listen to them? Even small gestures can have a big impact on others. Here is an additional article to support you: 12 Morning Rituals Successful People Add To Their Daily Routine
Leadership Lessons from Parenting: #6 Humility
“When you take the time to open your mind and ears, and actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it’s amazing what you can learn. This is especially true if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be your children.”
- As a leader: Humility makes you more successful and likable. No one wants to be around arrogance. Being present is great, but an attitude of “I know it all” creates a lose-lose situation. The best ideas often come from unexpected sources. Many articles describe how ideas emerge from random conversations. Don’t think you have to know everything. Embrace humility and be open to new ideas, especially from those you might not have expected. Here is an additional article to support you: Why Developing Your Intuition Can Skyrocket Your Career and Leadership Skills
#7 Walk The Talk
“Your children are the greatest gift life will give you. Take time with them, and teach them to have faith in themselves by being a person they can have faith in – a person who listens. Walk the talk. Children have never been perfect at listening to their parents, but they have never failed to imitate them in some way.”
- As a leader: This is so true, especially the last piece around the way in which people will model your behavior. Sure you are under the microscope and people are watching but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Remember, being a leader doesn’t mean you are supposed to know everything but rather have the ability to figure out “how” to know everything. My four year old son started mimicking all my words and actions as early as one years old and you better believe it’s kept me (and my wife) on our toes ever since. As a leader, every word and action you take will be seen by your board, investors, team and company. I say this not to scare you but rather inspire you to be greater and show some of that humility we just discussed. Some of the most powerful and successful leaders today are the most transparent and hold town halls, Q&A’s, sit in a cube with the masses and are readily accessible to others. Here is an additional article to support you: Bruce Lee’s 7 Beliefs For A More Productive Life
#8 Guide By Example
“Parents can only guide by example and put their offspring on the right path, but the final forming of a person’s character and life story lies in their own hands.”
- As a leader: There is a lot you can do in developing others but in the end, the choice to grow, develop and further ones career is about their desire and commitment to move forward – not just yours. Your job is to create the space and opportunity for them to show up – the rest is up to them. Similar to being a sports trainer, you can motivate another but you won’t being do the pushups for them. The key here is to know when to stop providing those opportunities if the other person is taking advantage of them. Here is an additional article to support you: 22 Traits Successful Managers Demonstrate Through Times of Change
#9 To Let Go
“It’s absolutely impossible to protect your children against disappointment in life. Some things you just have to live through to learn. One of the best things you can do for your children as they grow is to let go and allow them to do things for themselves, to be strong and responsible, and allow them the freedom to experience things on their own.
- As a leader: Knowing when to pull back is different than giving up. (Similar to #8) As a parent, I’m committed to supporting my child’s growth and happiness. But I also know when to let him fall and get back up on his own. It hurts to see him struggle, but it’s part of growing up. The same applies to leading others: Give them space to fail. Tough lessons often create successful people and inventions. (check out 5 Reasons Leaders Should Embrace Failure). Again, your role is to set the stage for others and then allow them to step out in front of the audience and do their thing. They may fail but they may also receive a standing ovation. The challenge for you is to “be with” the journey and know when to step in and add value, guidance and of course leadership. Here is an additional article to support you: Stop Over-Thinking Everything
#10 You Won’t Be Needed
No matter how great of a job you do parenting – especially if you truly do it right – your children won’t stay with you. They will eventually break away. It’s the one job in life, where the better you do, the more rapidly and surely you won’t be needed as often in the long run.
- As a leader: Your role is to nurture and develop your people. Some would argue that it’s your job to groom your people so that potentially one day they want to assume your role. Being admired, respected and well liked is great and having a loyal team underneath you is an incredible feeling, opportunity and of course responsibility. The reality is that your people will move on in their careers and that’s a good thing. It’s a sign that you did your job and hopefully they will make your proud. I know as a parent I will always be my sons “dad” but the reality is that he too will take off from home one day but I am confident he will be just fine.Here is an additional article to support you: 5 Lessons On Leadership From ‘The Daily Show’s’ Jon Stewart
Final thoughts:
The commonalities between being a leader and being a parent aren’t that hard to see and hopefully after reading this post, the connection is clearer. It doesn’t matter where you work, how much money you make or what car you drive – anyone, whether you are a parent or not can be a leader in life to someone else. Take a look at the 10 areas I talked about here and see where you can improve upon your own leadership skills.
The floor is yours. What do you think makes a great leader or parent?
With leadership,
Joshua
*****
Not-your-typical Personal and Executive Master Certified Coach.
Joshua Miller is a creative and impactful leader. His career experience has spanned both the advertising world and the world of leadership and organizational development. In advertising, he was responsible in delivering campaign strategies for Fortune 100 companies. Now he innovates and delivers results when supporting executive talent development and change management for the same clients.
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